Q&A |
|
The
Ivy Chronicles is about a woman who loses
her big corporate job and then reinvents herself
into a school admissions advisor helping rich
Manhattanites get their kids into private school.
Isn’t that what happened to you?
|
|
|
|
|
Yes,
I left a big corporate job at American Express and
then started a business helping NYC families get
their children into nursery, public and private
schools. In the book, my main character has to sell
her apartment and take her children out of private
school because she couldn’t afford these things
after starting her own business. That did happen
to me. My main character finds her husband in a
compromising position and kicks him out of the house.
That did not happen to me. At least not yet. |
|
|
So
the story is autobiographical? |
|
|
|
In
spirit, there’s a lot of truth to the book,
but the details have all been changed to protect
the innocent. Beyond being an inside look at the
preposterous New York City kindergarten admissions
scene, The Ivy Chronicles is the story of how a
woman who loses much of what matters to her manages
to pick herself up, wipe herself off, and create
a new, more meaningful life. After losing my job
and generous salary at American Express, I was at
loose ends as to what to do next. By starting a
small business, my family could no longer afford
to pay all our bills. Selling our apartment, taking
our daughter out of private school, canceling vacations
and after-school lessons were just some of the sacrifices
made to support my choice to start a business. Like
Ivy’s kids, my children complained and begged
me to get a “real” job. In the end,
I was able to draw on all these experiences to write
this book and ultimately create a new life for myself
as an author. Ivy goes through a similar kind of
transformation in The Ivy Chronicles. |
|
|
What
kind of person hires someone to help them get their
child into private school? That seems awfully extreme. |
|
|
|
In
New York City, finding a school for your child can
be so complicated and stressful that it isn’t
unusual for the most sensible, down-to-earth families
to hire a consultant for help. Most of the families
we worked with were interesting, wonderful people
who cared about their kids and were confused about
the process. A small percentage of the people we
worked with were demanding, unrealistic and difficult.
You probably find that hard to believe. |
|
|
What
were some of the biggest challenges you faced advising
clients on private school admissions? |
|
|
|
One
of the toughest challenges was dealing with parents
who had unrealistic expectations. Perhaps the
child didn’t score so well on her ERB, perhaps
the family had mannerisms that didn’t play
well at the most elite schools. Still, the top
schools were all they wanted because they’d
heard they were the best.
Helping
parents through the emotional rollercoaster ride
that this process creates was a challenge. We
saw CEOs reduced to tears over kindergarten admissions.
Families had shouting matches over which school
to choose. I was once with a client who got so
worked up talking about her frustration with the
process that I thought he might attack me. We
were meeting in my house and I nonchalantly stepped
into the kitchen to hide the knives. Emotions
ran high and we found ourselves advising families
on issues that went way beyond school admissions.
Luckily, I’m an extraordinarily sensitive
person (everyone says that, not just me) so counseling
came naturally. |
|
|
The characters in your book go to shocking lengths
to get their children into school. In real life,
did your clients go that far? |
|
|
|
The
clients we dealt with would never have dreamed
of doing what the characters in my book did to
get their kids into school. They were all so ethical
and I just couldn’t convince them…no,
never mind. |
|
|
What are some of the most outrageous things you
saw parents do to get their children accepted
into private school? |
|
|
|
How
many hours do you have? Of course, there’s
Jack Grubman, the stock analyst who allegedly
changed his position on a stock after his boss
made a million dollar donation to the 92nd Street
Y to get Grubman’s twins admitted to that
school. There was a woman who applied to thirty-five
schools and didn’t get her child into one.
There was a woman who paid an actor to pretend
to be her husband in all her parent interviews
because she thought her daughter would have a
better chance if she weren’t a single mom.
None of these people were our clients.
Some
of my favorite stories happened to my business
partner a few years ago when she was applying
to kindergarten for her youngest son along with
our clients. Once, after prepping a family for
an interview at a very posh school that interviews
two sets of parents at a time, she showed up for
her visit only to find herself being interviewed
along side our clients. Since the school was so
conservative, my partner had insisted that the
client’s husband wear a suit to the meeting.
Her own husband, who was no fan of this school,
showed up late (unforgivable!) and in a running
suit. Another time, my partner’s son refused
to go to an interview unless he was dressed in
costume and carrying live birds in a cage. To
avoid a meltdown, my partner gave in, only to
find several of our clients at the same group
interview, their children in suits and party dresses
as per our instructions.
We
did see some pretty extreme things happen in our
practice. At one workshop, a particularly obnoxious
parent almost provoked a fistfight. There were
shouting matches between mothers and fathers at
some of our meetings. There were tears, and not
from the children, I might add. |
|
|
Are some of the stories in your book true? |
|
|
|
When
I was with Smart City Kids, we worked with hundreds
of families. My client characters are composites
of the many people we worked with, with lots and
lots of imagination thrown in. The specific facts
and stories I tell are mostly made up. But almost
every story in the book is inspired by something
real that happened. For example, one story in
the book was inspired by an actor client. He had
been in a movie about the mob. So, I started thinking,
what if we really had a “wise-guy”
client? Out of that, Omar “The Butcher”
Kutcher was born.
A
few stories are true. For example, Ivy finds herself
in the taxi of a cabbie who saves all his money
and sends it to a school for girls he started
in India. I met this cab driver myself in almost
the exact way Ivy meets him.
There’s
a story where Maria Kutcher wants to eat a pooped-on,
filthy piece of lettuce from a rabbit’s
cage right before her interview. Her dad says
“no” at first, and she looks like
she’s about to lose it. So he lets the girl
eat the lettuce. That actually happened to the
Director of the 92nd Street Y with her own child
when they interviewed years ago. She told the
story to my partner and me.
Also,
there’s an incident about Ivy’s daughter
taking care of the class guinea pig for Christmas
and then killing it by playing with him too hard.
That’s a true story. My daughter killed
Star, the class guinea pig, over the Thanksgiving
holidays in 1995. Apparently, this is a serious
problem that happens to school pets around the
country every year so I want to mention it to
spread awareness.
Another
child in the book has a cat that fell out her
apartment window and died. That happened to our
cat too. It was my fault for leaving a window
slightly ajar (who knew that a cat could push
open a window?). It was traumatic for all of us.
I’m still reeling over the fact that my
children called me a “cat murderer.”
|
|
|
Is it true that most of the one-liners spoken
by the children in this book came out of your
son’s mouth? |
|
|
|
Yes,
between the ages of four and five, my son said
such funny things that I wrote down our conversations.
I actually developed a comic strip called “Sam”
dramatizing his funny take on the world. The
comics are posted on this site. When I had
to write dialogue for my children in The Ivy
Chronicles, I went back to the Sam comic
strip and drew from there. Sam is negotiating
for a commission for every line of his that made
it into the book. |
|
|
Have you heard from any of your ex-clients? How
do they feel about your having written this tell-all
book? |
|
|
|
Their
responses have been extremely positive. Many of
them called to congratulate me and I can’t
tell you how many attended my readings. It is
such a tough experience that most of them are
delighted to see the system lampooned. I was very
careful not to use real stories in order to protect
everyone’s privacy. And none of my characters
are based on specific clients. |
|
|
The Ivy Chronicles explores themes of ethics
and prejudice. Would you describe the book as
a beach read or a book with a message? |
|
|
|
First
and foremost, the book is a gossipy, juicy beach
book. But I did explore themes that were very
real to the experience I had working in this business.
For example, when you are struggling in a small
company, you are often faced with ethical dilemmas
forcing you to choose between what you know is
right and what is most expedient or most likely
to bring success. How do you make that choice?
If schools and other parents aren’t playing
by the rules, is it okay for you to break them?
I also touched on themes of prejudice and racism,
which came into play way too often for comfort.
You can enjoy The Ivy Chronicles as pure entertainment.
Or you can ignore all the humor and sex in the
story and use it as a springboard for some deeper
discussions. |
|
|
Are the private schools in the book based on real
schools? Have you heard from any of them? How
do they feel about the book? |
|
|
|
I
did have particular schools in mind when I wrote
about them in the book but I’ll never tell
which was which. I haven’t heard from any
admissions directors or schools yet. But when
I do, I’ll let you know. |
|
|
In the book, you say that people with money and
connections have a huge advantage when it comes
to getting their children into private school;
and that if you’re a normal white upper-middle-class
lawyer or banker, you’re screwed. Do you
believe that? |
|
|
|
We
saw this played out time and time again. And it
wasn’t just because one had money and connections
that they got their kids into the most selective
schools. It was because people with money and
connections tended to be more like everyone else
in these communities so the fit was better. |
|
|
The book intimates that private schools sponsoring
diversity programs aren’t sincere in those
efforts. Why would you say that? |
|
|
|
I
believe some schools are absolutely sincere in
their efforts to be more inclusive and some schools
only pay lip service to the idea. We worked with
a number of diverse families in our practice.
The ones who did best tended to be educated, sophisticated,
professional families who were culturally similar
to the white majority families that were already
in the school. The more different a candidate
was, the less likely he or she was to get in.
And isn’t that what diversity means –
different? Schools would always say they welcomed
children who were physically disabled, but we
found it was practically impossible to get a child
in a wheelchair into most of the private schools. |
|
|
One of the fun parts of the book was seeing how
the super wealthy live. Were your clients typically
that rich? |
|
|
|
Some
were and some weren’t. I had one client
who would send a stretch limo for me each time
I went to see her. And we were invited into some
pretty amazing apartments and townhouses. The
interesting thing was, we also worked with some
middle class and poor families who could barely
afford to hire us but did because they wanted
their children to have every educational advantage
possible. |
|
|
Did your clients’ attitudes about the importance
of getting their kids into private school change
after September 11th? |
|
|
|
I’ll
never forget that on the day of September 11th,
we received calls all day from parents who were
looking for help with school admissions. I lived
downtown and could see the smoke pouring out from
ground zero right outside my window. I would ask
people why they were calling on that day and several
of them said that they had been sent home from
work. They thought it would be a good time to
get a head start on their applications. That tells
you how out of control some people are over this
issue. We had scheduled a workshop on getting
into private school for September 12th. We thought
we should cancel, but decided not to because we
couldn’t reach everyone. We didn’t
think anyone would actually show up, but when
we arrived, everyone was there. I believe that
at first, most people put school admissions into
a healthier perspective after September 11th.
But eventually things went back to the way they
always were. |
|
|
Your story takes place in New York City. Do parents
in other cities go to such extremes to get their
children into private school? |
|
|
|
People
from other big cities have said that it’s
just as crazy in their part of the country. I’ve
heard the same thing from readers in the U.K. |
|
|
Are your children in private school? |
|
|
|
My
son goes to private school. My daughter used to
be in public school, but I just moved her into
a private school. |
|
|
Would you consider this book Chic Lit? |
|
|
|
There
are so many varieties of “lits” these
days. There’s chic lit, gossip lit, mommy
lit, urban lit. I suppose this is a cross between
gossip lit and mommy lit. There’s a similarity
to gossip lit books like The Nanny Diaries, The
Devil Wears Prada, The Right Address, and Bergdorf
Blonds. In these stories, the authors share an
inside peek at a world which most of us never
get to see. The Ivy Chronicles provides a look
at the absurd, but oddly fascinating world of
New York City private school admissions and some
of the unusual characters that inhabit this surreal
universe.
Chic
lit tends to celebrate younger women trying to
find their way through life and love. My character,
Ivy, is older, she has two kids, a job, a pending
divorce, stretch marks and plastic surgery fantasies.
I’d compare her struggles to those of the
Kate Reddy in the mommy lit book, I Know How
She Does It. |
|
|
You went from being a lawyer to a marketing person
to an educational consultant to a writer. Do you
have any advice for people who want to make major
career changes as you did? |
|
|
|
I
believe that you know instinctively when it’s
time to say goodbye to a particular job or career.
The hard part is mustering the courage to proactively
make the change. My advice is (with a few exceptions)
never to let lack of training stop you from going
into a new field. I didn’t know how to be
a schools admissions advisor, but like the character
in my book, I did the research, figured it out
and opened my doors for business. I had never
written anything other than my family’s
annual Christmas letter before I wrote The
Ivy Chronicles. After I sold it, I began
studying books on writing. You can teach yourself
to do almost anything. |
|
|
When you started your business, did you do so
with the intention of writing this book? |
|
|
|
No.
I had hoped that Smart City Kids could be a business
I’d work in for many years. But I had a
partner and we found that the company could support
one person well, but not two. One of us needed
to leave. I always said that if I ever stopped
doing admissions consulting, I’d have to
write about it because the world of admissions
was so interestingly strange. The funny thing
is, some of the real situations we found ourselves
in were more outrageous than the stories I made
up in the book. In some of my earlier drafts,
I’d base an incident on something that actually
took place and my editor would suggest that I
lose it because it wasn’t believable. |
|
|
How long did it take you to write this book? How
did you manage to get an agent and a publisher? |
|
|
|
I
wrote the first draft in about three months working
all day five days a week. When I told my babysitter
that I was writing a book, she offered to introduce
me to an agent she used to know in a job she had
years ago. I jumped at the offer. Bev picked up
the phone and called this woman whom she hadn’t
spoken to in ten years. The agent agreed to look
at my book strictly as a favor to Bev but warned
me that she wasn’t taking new clients. I was
grateful to have a professional read it and offer
guidance, any guidance at all. It turned out that
she loved it and agreed to take me on as a client.
She sent the manuscripts out to seven editors and
four ended up bidding on it. It was like a dream
come true. |
|
|
|
|